And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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