"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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