I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
