Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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