Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
