Have you finally orgasmed yet?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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