Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
