I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
