Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
whose ass print is on the piano?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Randomize
