porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize