Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
