i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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