everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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