Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
