hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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