I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
