smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
