Are we in a gay sports bar?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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