so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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