There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
