There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
