You can't motorboat a personality
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
