I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
