so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize