Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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