You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
