That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
