Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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