Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Actions speak louder than pants.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
NoShamevember. You game?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The struggles of a small town man whore
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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