So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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