Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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