I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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