is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
