I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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