This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
