Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
