Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
