Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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