What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You did what with his pubic hair?
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