This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
