he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
