so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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