your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
