I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
