On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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