I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
