what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
