We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Randomize
