after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
