dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize