Capitaan dildo arrescate!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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