My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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