I looked at my own cervix.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
