So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
