It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
