If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize