Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
