Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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