So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
