You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Another day, another engagement, another cat
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I believe in your delicious
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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