dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
