home. puking in laundry basket.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
