he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
