So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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