your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
