I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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