Barsexuality is the new black.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm like, not good at living.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
