there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize