and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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