just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
